Thursday, March 15, 2012

Healing: Part 2

Next came the move back to Boulder. A dream come true, right? More space, a beautiful home near the foothills... and all the grief and loss over letting go of my first home. HARD. I had no idea. For a girl who moved a lot growing up, with no input, no choice, my first home was a really big deal. My choice. My desires. The change, transition, growing pains, whatever you want to call it was rough. A wise friend told me that "every big change feels like a big mistake". Thank god for smart people. To let you know that you aren't crazy, just human. Not to mention I found myself with a pretty serious case of plantar faciitis brought on by all the packing.

I am not teling you this to whine, have a pity party, or to seek sympathy. Typically, I am not a good sharer. I'm not great with trust and vulnerability. I could tell you that I like to be mysterious, an enigma, but mostly I've just needed to stay inside my protective walls. Like I told you before, I now understand the work I've been doing and all these personal details give context to this work. So then comes the stage of a big new move, but hardly being able to to walk, and the pain keeping me stuck at home instead of enjoying this new community. Not yet seeing that other physical and emotional factors were what was really keeping me stuck. To be cont...


  1. I too always needed the safety of my own protective walls. It really is hard to be vulnerable and put yourself and your feelings out there...but so warming to know that, in the end, we are more alike than different. I appreciate you and your work and sharing. Be kind to yourself!

    1. Thanks Kathy! My word for the year is gentle, which has been a huge help. Just allowing myself to be, and recognize what I need, which is often different than what I want!

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